First Baptist Church of Herndon

Impressions

Linda Soller | Aug 26, 2013

This past weekend we had a bridal shower at my house. I was most concerned about where everyone would sit and how the house would look. For the two previous weekends I’d cleaned and de-cluttered. I spent a fair amount of time finding a home for all the stacks of things that were just left lying here and there. I was focused on the impression I would leave on people. Then one day it hit me that I really should be focused on people having a good time, and making it a fun day for the bride. How had I lost my way?

The shower was not about me, but I’d allowed my efforts to be focused on me. Would the guests think my house was clean? Would the guests think we were too crammed in the family room? Would the guests wonder why I hosted the shower if my house couldn’t handle it? These questions really passed through my mind. Once I recognized what I was doing I forced myself to think about the last time I’d been invited to attend a shower. I remembered thinking about the bride, what gift to give, how fun it would be to see everyone, and how nice of the hostess to have the shower in the first place. I never once thought, “That house better be clean.”

We live in such an image conscious world. We add pressure and stress to our lives by worrying about what other people think. Don’t get me wrong, we need to be aware and considerate of other people’s feelings. I just don’t think we need to be so aware of impressing other people if it means that in order for them to be impressed with us they must feel somehow less impressed with themselves. When we go out of our way to impress we can sometimes stop being ourselves. Those stacks that live around my house are part of who I am. They are not the best parts of me or my favorite parts, but on any given day they are there and life goes on. I work to manage them and tell myself I would be calmer without the clutter, but there it is just the same. I imagine that my guests have a few stacks as well. So why do I feel the need to hide the stacks. Well there is the obvious reason – I need to expose some surface space for the food. But seriously I moved the cluttered because I want to hide that I live with clutter. I want to leave a better impression. Perhaps I need to focus more on leaving an impression of being kind, or generous, or caring, and less on being neat. In a perfect world I would be all of those things.

Anyway, the shower took place and it was fun. There were smiles and laughter and if someone was unimpressed with my house or the chair they sat on they never breathed a word to me. I think I had a better time too because I allowed myself to focus on the reason for the shower and all that it was about. Surprisingly enough it wasn’t about me.

Have a great week :o) Linda